Re(membering) Myself
As I have shared in previous blog posts, in March of this year, I went through a traumatic experience in the forest. After this experience, my body was riddled with fear, and I couldn’t enter the forest. This was extremely devastating, for I felt like the forest had become a part of me. Since moving back to Canada in the summer of 2022 from Mexico, I had spent most days up until this time in the forest. I would experience deep grief when I was away for more than a few days.
However, after this experience, all I could do was lie at the forest’s edge and cry. Before this experience, I had been guided to create a course on connecting with Mother Earth, but I was now confused as to how I would create one when I felt so fearful of her. However, on one of those days, lying on the edge of the forest crying, I heard a whisper inviting me to connect to Mother Earth. With resistance, I sat up, wiped my tears, closed my eyes and connected my body to Mother Earth’s body. I silenced my mind and then asked her how to create the course. She told me to do it through the chakra system of my body. I remember feeling doubt and confusion at the time, but this was all the information I was given, so I began.
For five months now, almost every day, I have gone and connected with Mother Earth and allowed her to guide me into healing the chakras of my body. The process has been the most profound experience of my life. She has taught me how, in each of our chakras, we hold core wounds from this lifetime and others that keep us disconnected from our true nature and from her. Some of these wounds are so ancient and have been passed down from one generation to the next that we are often unconscious that they live within us. For example, one of the core wounds carried within the human heart is the Mother Wound. This wound originates from our separation from the original mother, Mother Earth, thousands of years ago.
Through Mother Earth, I am finding it deeply helpful to learn the ancient stories and sacred teachings that exist behind these core wounds. She has continued to show me how they manifest within me and how to heal them. Every time that I have followed her guidance, I have felt layers of fear dissolve and felt my body open up to deeper amounts of love that I have never felt before.
Three years ago, when I moved home from Mexico, my mother created a sacred nest for me to land in. I had gone through an awakening in Mexico that had forever changed me. When I arrived home, nothing about my old life fit anymore. This was a deeply devastating and disorienting process as I rebirthed myself anew. I was without money or a job, and my mother never once told me to go out and find a ‘real job’. Rather, it was her love that gave me the strength to do this sacred work when I could not find the strength within myself. She supported me as I rebirthed myself and birthed Conversations with Forest into being.
In late June, just before starting the work on my throat chakra, I received a dream guiding me to move back to her home for the summer. Interestingly, it is just before I move back down south again this fall. Again, she has created a sacred nest for me to land. However, this time is different than before. The love and strength that I needed three years ago from her, I have now cultivated within myself. I no longer feel disoriented by the path I am on, but grateful for it, even though much remains unknown.
Last week, when I was walking in the forest in Fish Creek Park, I felt this sense of awakening from a deep sleep that had lasted lifetimes. I could feel in my body the lifetimes of disconnection from my true nature and Mother Earth lifting. Tears came to my eyes, and I felt a mix of grief and gratitude. Grief that we have collectively spent so many generations and lifetimes disconnected from ourselves, each other and Mother Earth and gratitude that we have collectively entered this time of remembrance. I then felt a wave of peace wash over me, knowing that it is safe now for us to return to ourselves, each other and Mother Earth in a way that we haven’t been able to for thousands of years.
When I returned from Mexico three years ago, I felt uncomfortable, insecure and fearful of speaking openly about the path I am walking on and the work that I am doing. However, through my conversations with Forest and my lessons from Mother Earth over the last three years, I no longer feel these emotions in the same way. Rather, I feel a deep trust knowing that the path that I am walking and the work that I am sharing is guided directly by Mother Earth.
Later this fall, I will be offering an Earth My Body online multi-week course that will include the ancient stories, sacred teachings and powerful healing practices that I have been gifted by Mother Earth. It is my hope that this offering will help others re(member) the parts of themselves that have been cut off in this lifetime and the ones before. If you feel the call to re(member) yourself in this way, I would be honoured for you to be a part of it.
With Love,
Translator of the Earth