When the Body Says Stop!
Dear friend,
Do you know that feeling where it feels like your world is spinning so fast that you can’t seem to find solid ground? You feel like there is no way to stop, because all the commitments in your life feel utterly important. And it feels almost impossible to imagine that things could be any different. Rather than slow down or pull a full stop, you push on, using things like coffee and chocolate to give you the energy you need whilst simultaneously adopting numbing behaviours like overeating, streaming or scrolling to cope.
To me, when my world is moving too fast and I am simultaneously trying to keep up with it, I feel the sensation in my body of being squeezed. I imagine myself like a lemon that has already been juiced and squeezing it over and over again to get out any last drops. In this example, more often than not, I am both the lemon and the one doing the squeezing, by pushing myself too hard and putting unrealistic expectations and pressure upon myself. During these times, there is often an internalized dictator in my psyche telling me that I have to live this way if I want to achieve whatever I am doing. However, my body and spirit are simultaneously telling me that it doesn’t feel right and that there is another way.
When I feel this pressure, I think of the land and specifically of the soil. I think about how the soils of the earth, that nourish and sustain all of life, are exhausted and depleted too. And rather than nourishing and tending to the health of the soil, more often than not, synthetic fertilizers are applied to it. The soil is forced to produce life at an unsustainable rate, just as we are forcing ourselves to do the same.
Last night, a friend shared with me how she experiences the soil as deeply feminine, and this resonated so deeply with me. Like a womb, the soil is a place of darkness, where all life emerges from. When we put synthetic fertilizer onto the soil to push production, we are not listening to her needs, and when we are pushing against our bodies and natural cycles, we are not listening to our feminine nature.
Our feminine nature is intuitive and receptive. It doesn’t force; it attracts. We see this happen in wild places. The Earth needs new nutrients each year in order to feed the life that grows from her. This is partially done by leaves falling in autumn, covering the soil, and gradually breaking down into natural compost, which supports the growth of new life. The soil doesn’t force the leaves to fall; rather, what she needs naturally arrives.
We are the same! When we are taking care of ourselves and listening to our bodies and honouring our spirits, the ideas, opportunities and people naturally come to us. However, this sometimes feels hard to believe, as we have been raised to act otherwise. We may think that the only way forward is through force and struggle, but this way of living is not aligned with the natural processes of nature. The land doesn’t force, but she does need rest and nourishment in order to produce life.
I share all of this because my world has been spinning, and I have been trying to keep up with it. I have told myself that I can’t stop. But my body and my spirit know otherwise. They know that this isn’t the way forward, that there is another way forward. However, I have to be willing to slow down enough to find the way, to make my way. This is a deeply feminine way, that we are trying to remember together. When one of us starts to walk and live in this way, we show one another that another way is possible. So, I am going to rest and nourish my soils, so that the life that wants to emerge from me sustains me and all of life, rather than depletes me and the life around me.
I will be taking a break from my Sacred Story Newsletters for the month of June in honour of listening to my body and spirit, in honour of walking this way. I hope you are doing what you need to nourish your own soils.
With deep love,
Laurel
Translator of the Earth